When given a compliment many women tend to either deflect, dismiss, downplay, or redirect. Anything but actually receive and accept the compliment. We say things like, “it was nothing,” or, “it was really all Lisa,” or “no, you’re gorgeous!”.
For many women, this seems to be an issue of self-worth wherein our self-image does not align with the compliment. For others, it is a matter of having been taught to always be humble, to play small and receiving a compliment can feel like we are bragging.
I want to challenge you to take notice of your reactions to compliments. I’ll bet that for most of you, it feels uncomfortable and I urge you to get curious as to why. Do you not think you deserve it? Is it that there is attention being put on you and you wish to remain unnoticed? Are you afraid to seem braggadocios?
Take notice of what feelings come up for you when you receive a compliment over the next little while and once you’ve done some inner work on uncovering why you feel however you do, take the challenge one step further. Fight the instinct to deflect, minimise or dismiss the compliment. I challenge you to accept it. A simple, gracious, “thank you” will suffice. Thank you is still humble, it’s still polite. Notice how it feels to accept the compliment. As you continue the practice, take note of the accumulative effect of accepting compliments and if you begin to notice an uptick in your self-worth.
If you really want to challenge yourself, start humble bragging, or complimenting yourself. Listen, no one wants to come across as arrogant or conceited, I get it. But arrogance and confidence are very different. Confidence shows that you know your value as a person. While arrogance is off-putting, confidence my friends, is dead sexy. So, give yourself a compliment today. Maybe you start with just complimenting yourself in the mirror. Tell a friend about something great you achieved. Practice until being able to own your amazingness is second-nature and you are oozing with confidence.
You are an intelligent, capable, talented, dedicated, gorgeous, kind, (insert adjective of choice) woman. You are! I hope you know this about yourself. I hope you can accept compliments when other people notice it too.
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